Looking for Customers in All the Wrong Places?

I've just finished 4 miles and my running clothes are dripping in sweat, not to mention my entire body.

Still, Delray Beach feels gorgeous at 7AM on a bright and sunny Thursday morning.

Now I'm just starting to slowly walk the last three blocks home to cool down when I hear a car honking.

"Looking for something?" shouts the driver.

"Huh" I think to myself. He's the one that stopped me. Do I look lost?

I'm confused.

"I'm just heading home," I offer.

"Yeah, but are you looking for something?"

Now I am wondering… is this some kind of nut looking for a fight? Did I unknowingly insult or hurt someone recently and now they are coming for revenge?

I don't know what to say - so I can only mutter "I just finished running, now I’m going home."

But in a moment it all becomes clear.

"Want some weed? I got weed. Doobies?"

Ahhhhh. Now I get it. "Ummmm no, I'm good. No thanks."

He shakes his head, frustrated, and drives away.

This guy was obviously trying to expand his market.

No doubt he'd typically be on the corner up by the railroad tracks on Friday and Saturday night, waiting for convenient drive-by sales to come to him.

But he must be out looking for new business.

Problem is, he's gone way too far beyond his demographic.

He's out driving around soliciting prospects… at 7 in the morning (not sure this is a good time for selling drugs)… and offering his product to someone clearly interested in health and athletics (probably not your typical dope fiend).

Ah well.

I guess it's a tough economy… even for drug dealers.

What's In a Name? Plenty!

Can the name of your product or service influence whether people with similar names will like it?

Absolutely, says renowned social scientist Robert Cialdini. People even tend towards certain professions based on their name.

And in "Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive" he offers data to back up his claims.

Dentists are 43% more likely to be named Dennis than statistics would anticipate. Geologists have an above average number of Geoffrey's and George's.

People even tend to disproportionately move to states similar to their names (Flo to Florida, Lou to Louisiana).

And so, Cialdini indicates, let's say you're pitching a big project to Ethan Edwards at Eliot Engineering.

You might want to label it something like the "Energy Exchange Edict"

Personally, I think it's this whole theory is ridiculous and I'm simply not buying it.

- Charlie (career: computer programmer, consultant, copywriter).

Try This Easy Email Productivity Tip

Perpetually buried in email? Here's a quick and easy tip that may help you out...

SEND less email!

Sure, it's not the be-all and end-all to your problems.

But there's no question about it...

When I get on a email-sending binge, I pay for it later BIG TIME... in the form of all those replies.

Which then multiples the problem!

So before you dive into your pile and start firing off replies or new email messagess, think carefully about what you're doing and alternate options for each one.

Can a quick visit to the office next door solve this? How about a 30 second phone call? Has it already been addressed in a later email? Or will benign neglect work out just fine.

Try it out! Just keep telling yourself "The delete key is my friend, the delete key is my friend!"

News of the Weird?

File this under "Whacky Headline Sequences".

Check it out...

Headline 1:

BREAKING NEWS: General Motors reports $2.5 billion Q3 loss, burns $6.9 billion in cash

Headline 2:

Ford plans more cuts after loss Firm burns up $7.7 billion.

Headline 3:

Obama seeks advice from top execs

Doh!

I hope he's being very selective.

$100 Million Before Break Even? That's a Lot of Pizzas!

I'm REALLY glad I'm in the online information publishing business. You know, where you can start a web-based business for a few hundred bucks - and where the sky is the limit.

Imagine, instead, being in the restaurant business. Good grief! No thank you. Here's one example why not…

A new place just opened here in downtown Delray Beach. Vic & Angelo's. It's gorgeous and the food is good - I checked it out just after opening night.

I'd been watching them renovate the building for about 18 months. And I knew they had to be spending a TON of money. But I almost fell over when I read the final figure.

$3 million on renovations and another $1 mil on additional start up expenses. Holy cow - $4 million bucks to open an Italian restaurant in Delray Beach!

Restaurants keep only 4 cents of every dollar spent by a customer, according to Hudson Riehle, VP of research and information services at the National Restaurant Association. The rest of the money, he says, is split amongst food and beverage purchases, payroll, occupancy and other overhead.

Now I'm no accountant…

But that sounds to me like they'll have to make $100 million in sales before they even break even. $100 million bucks - that's a lot of pizzas! About 5 million in fact!

OK, OK – so they sell all kinds of nice meals. That’s still a million covers (dinners) at (say) $100 each. Yikes.

My initial impression was that the person who did this had to be nuts.

But that was before I found out the owner, David Manero, is an experienced restaurateur. And this is actually Vic & Angelo's second location. They have another one up in Palm Beach Gardens.
So he must, you would think, be well aware of all the margins, risks and rewards.

If this second store is a success, well, I'll say more power to him.

But meanwhile… remind me to never start a business where I have to sell $100 million before I can break even!

The pain of discipline or the pain of regret?

With October comes shorter days, cooler weather, turning leaves…

And football coaches trying all SORTS of things to inspire their teams to play to their highest level.

New York Jets head coach Erik Mangini is an especially strong advocate of motivational speakers and techniques.

In the past three years, he’s brought in all-time receiving leader Jerry Rice; Jim Calhoun, men’s basketball coach at UConn, former Olympic decathlete Dan O’Brien and the boxing trainer Teddy Atlas, to name just a few.

This week I heard Mangini mention something that Baltimore Colts coach Mike McCormack used to ask his players (although it's also attributed to others including Jim Rohn).

"Would you prefer the pain of discipline or the pain of regret?"

Point being, of course, that the pain of discipline is fleeting, while the pain of regret can be eternal.

It reminded me of something my marathon training buddies and I talk about when we're out sufferin' and griping in the mid-August Florida heat running 16 miles.

"You can pay now… or you can pay on race day."

It's all about choices.

Life is short...

Don't let those last few moments we'll all have someday be filled with what-ifs and might-have-beens!

So I Think I've Got Problems?

“Hi… I found… found you guys online and I was wondering if I could run with… ya… you?”

Every few months, a newcomer shows up for our Saturday morning marathon training group. But there was something very unusual about the young lady who joined us this this morning.

“My name is K… K… Ki… Ki … Kim.”

She was about 30, looked to be in good running shape, and beamed a big, friendly, and outgoing smile.

And, as we all soon realized, she had a serious speech disability.

Along Ocean Boulevard on Boca Raton, we have our routines. We chat as we run, and the conversation flows quickly and easily.

But now, every time Kim had something to say, it was turning into a 30 second episode.

I began rooting for that one final word to come out… you almost want to shout it out… help her along. But you don’t. And after a while, it can get just a little bit "uncomfortable".

We had a nice run. But afterwards something was bugging me. That's when I started thinking about it all.

Uncomfortable? I was uncomfortable? The nerve of me!

What about Kim!?

Every day, every hour… every conversation, every confrontation, every chance meeting… the simplest dialog must become an incredible challenge. Filled, no doubt, with stares, strange looks, sometimes, no doubt, even ridicule.

How brave she must be to live that life, and to then come out and meet a group of 10 total strangers, smiling and telling light-hearted stories the whole time. What courage!

Shame on me for my self-pity when I whine about my trivial little “problems”. My issues don’t amount to a hill of beans compared to the millions who face real difficulties and challenges, many of them far tougher than Kim’s.

The next time I’m feeling down, I’ll think about Kim and thank my lucky stars for inspirations like her.

And I'll hope that should I ever face such challenges, may I be able to summon up Kim's kind of courage.

Does This Discounting Strategy Make Sense?

I hadn't been to the Pineapple Grill in about a year, so their ad in a local monthly newsletter caught my eye.

"Dine with a taste of the Caribbean! - Special: Purchase one Appetizer and one Lunch and receive Free Second Lunch (of same or lesser value)".

Well that sounded like a good reason to go back. Last time the place was in transition and we'd been disappointed.

But then I took a closer look at the ad. And the next few words took me aback.

"Free Lunch Not to Exceed $11".

Huh?

So let me get this straight...

They want to attract new customers... and possibly bring back old ones.

But if you have more expensive taste... i.e. you want to give them MORE money... you get a worse deal?

I understand about food costs and all, but there's just something about this that seems wrong to me.

Am I the only one? What do you think? Good idea or bad? Lemme know... let's hear your comment on this post.

Copywriter Needed; Apply to NY Yankees, Bronx, New York

The 3rd place "Bronx Bombers" baseball team may be struggling on the field this year…

But they could sure use some help in their Marketing Department as well. And so, for that matter, could the Florida Marlins, the LA Dodgers and the Atlanta Braves.

Go to any one of their websites and you'll find the most HORRIBLE violations of Copywriting Commandment #1: It All About Your Prospect, NOT You,

Let me explain…

I'm sure you familiar with those special events that teams hold throughout the season when fans get treated to fireworks, entertainment, bobble-head dolls, you name it,

So guess how these baseball teams describe these fun bonuses on their schedules…

Fantastic Fan Freebie Night? Nope, you're cold.

Gala Goodie Giveaway Game? Sorry, you’re ice cold!

Two-For-One Fan Appreciation Day? Freezing!

None of the above and not even close. They call them… drumroll…

Promotion Nights.

Ugh! Arghh! Yikes!

A promotion is a marketing technique. It is what a marketer DOES.

But that's never how they should present it to their fans.

After all, to paraphrase a great thinker, no one's ever gotten up on Saturday morning and said to his wife "Gee honey, I think we should go to a Promotion tonight".

Bottom line: When your marketing department comes up with a good idea, make sure it gets run by a copywriter who knows how to present it as beneficial to your prospects and customers.

A good marketing idea is useless if it never makes it through to the heart of your prospect.

He'll Kill You With a Feather

Last night I was privileged to see guitar virtuoso Mark Knopfler perform in Miami Beach.

I've been to literally hundreds of rock concerts over the past forty (yikes!) years or so (Zeppelin, McCartney, The Who, Tull, Springsteen, etc etc) and this one definitely lands in the top ten.

Most listeners probably know Knopfler as the leader of 1980's group Dire Straits and author of megahits such as "Sultans of Swing", "Money for Nothing" ("I want my MTV...") and "Walk of Life" ("Here comes johnny singing oldies, goldies Be-bop-a-lua, baby what I say...").

But you might not know that he's gone on to become a prolific film score composer and magnificent solo artist. And I use the term artist with all due respect.

One reviewer on Amazon described the "Cal" soundtrack as "a beautiful, haunting set of instrumentation and melody, combining Knopfler’s outstanding musical talents with his study of traditional Irish music."

Mark is a true master artist. Sure he can bang out a killer riff of staccato notes with anyone on the planet. But he doesn't NEED to hit you over the head like that.

He knows that subtlety is more powerful. He'll let the rhythm section do the heavy lifting. And he just drops in the occasional perfect accented note.

Understated and brilliant.

He's also a master of anticipatory tension - something all writers can relate to and should study.

Watch as his tune opens with a quiet story, engaging the listener.

Slowly the pace augments. In the background, the snare picks up. One by one, another instrument joins in...

Violin... accordion... penny whistle… bass... more drums...

And then the release - the explosion!

Afterwards, unlike most, he'll pull it back and give you yet another tasty and brilliant quiet morsel.

Sometimes he goes on to a dramatic buildup again.

But more often than not... he's gotten you revved up... he built a crescendo... gave the release... withdraws... and then slowly teases you with an understated refrain.

You're waiting, gasping for breath... listening to every quiet note and echo...

Wondering, anticipating… will he take me to that magical place again?

Ultimately, great art, great writing, great music mirrors the waves of passion that lie within the human spirit.

And there's a reason.

They come from the same place - they ARE the essence of what it means to be human and ALIVE.

Don't Send Mixed Messages

Sneak Insider Report - Overheard in our offices at Early to Rise this week...

Actual interview for a Customer Service Telephone Representative position!

Consider this the new Poster Child for how not to interview and how to send the wrong message...

ETR: Hi, thanks for coming. So first of all, tell me… why are you leaving your current job?

Applicant: The calls, they are so stressful.

ETR: What do you find stressful about them?

Applicant: There are so many. And the people, they're all unhappy.

As Miami Herald writer and author Dave Barry sometimes says, "I swear this is true."

Talk about sending the WRONG message.

NEXT!

Words do matter.

Make sure you're sending the right message about yourself...

your products...

and your company.

Marketing Genius Found at Denver Car Wash

I'm in Denver this week - out here at our rocking and rolling Internet business-building conference...

And I stumbled across some OUTSTANDING marketing copy yesterday.

It happened in, of all places, outside a car wash - and the timing was PERFECT.

Last night I was walking down Colorado Blvd with my wife, returning from Wahoo's Fish Tacos. (Yum).

I'd been mentally preparing in advance for my big talk on Copywriting today, and yet a few things were still missing... and bugging me a bit.

For example, I needed a good example of how "it's all about your prospect" and how your copy should "appeal to your prospect's deepest and strongest core emotion" and "solve their biggest problem".

And that's when we walked past the local car wash one block from the hotel and spotted their billboard:

"Waxed Cars Use Less Gas".

Wow - brilliant!

Five Words.

Simple, clear, succinct.

And everything else a great marketing message should have and do. Especially right now in July of 2008 in the USA.

Proving that sometimes you just step right into wonderful things staring you in the face...

And that you can find all kinds of valuable examples of how to do things right...

Just by keeping your eyes wide open!

PS: The car wash was packed.

Keep Track of All the New Airline Fees

Planning a flight and wondering about all the new add-on fees?

Wonder no more.

Rick Seaney of FareCompare.Com has put together a real nice chart including virtually every US airline and every add-on fee, including...

Phone reservations, first bag, second bag, advanced seat selection, soft drinks, snacks, alcohol, pets, adult movies, curbside check-in, and more.

I wonder when they'll add water and oxygen to the list!

Check it out at http://rickseaney.com/domestic-airline-fee-chart/

PS: Just kidding about the adult movies. Wanted to make sure you were reading. :-)

How NOT To Apply For A Writing Job

You would think if someone were applying for a writing job, they would pay special attention to their…

Well, to their writing, yes?

But if you thought that, I am afraid you would have thought wrong!

Here are just a few of the lowlights from recent resumes and cover letters I've received. Each line is from a different letter, (followed by my comment)…

* "The benefits for you in hiring me are that you get a versatile pro who works hard. If I miss a day of work, it's because of a hurricane or I'm contagious."

(NOT SURE IF CONTAGIOUS IS A GOOD "RESUME" WORD).

* "Words have been passed down even before Christ himself came to earth to sacrifice himself for human kind."

(MAY NOT BE THE TIME OR PLACE FOR THIS).

* "Current Job Title: The talanted Mr. Cordero"

(IF YOU ARE GOING TO BRAG, AT LEAST LEARN TO SPELL).

* "Objective: To Secure a Job to Suit Related Interests"

(AND HOW EXACTLY IS THAT GOING TO HELP ME?).

* "Writing has always been a pass time for me; however I would relish the opportunity to make it a career."

(DITTO - AND I THINK YOU MEANT PASTIME).

* "Organized and creative thinker, who is very much part of the work experience; establishing, ethics, diversity and above all innovative thinking"

(HUH?).

* "while I am a very good writer, I consider my major strengths to be more intangible."

(WHAT?).

* "I am a curious about everything under the sun, the sun itself and its' orbit."

(NASA MAY BE LOOKING FOR ASTRONOMERS BUT NOT ME).

* "I am particularly interested with self help topics, news headlines and just recently fashion."

ISN'T THAT SPECIAL.

Next post, I'll show you a few of the ones that were actually good.

Smoke Em if You Got Em

Flew up to JFK last night for some personal business meetings in NYC this weekend. I actually used frequent flyer points on JetBlue for this trip.

I'm starting to use up ALL my FF points right now. I think you should too...

Yesterday CO announced 3,000 folks laid off. The press release - like so much air news these days -mentioned "crisis" more than a few times. Sure, they're probably fishing for a bailout. But there's real trouble here too.

As fuel prices explode and air fares follow, those 25,000 points that were worth a $200 flight are suddenly worth $300 or $400. So using them up now has become a great deal.

But with all the trouble in the industry, you've got to think this party is not going to last. You've got to think frequent flyer programs are the next thing that are going to be cut.

I'm looking at various redemptions now (Delta, CO, USAir) and the summer's almost impossible, but right after Labor Day there are plenty of openings.

If you've got a stockpile of points you've been hoarding, now might be the time to use them for some autumn travel.

The Power of Specifics

How much would you be impressed if your telephone or cable company said they’d be “on time” for your home service appointment?

Well sure… it sounds okay. But it’s so vague; your eyes would probably glaze over.

“Whatever… I’ll probably end up sitting home waiting half the day.”

Now suppose instead they said “Your serviceman is currently scheduled to arrive at 10:43 AM”.

I bet that would catch your eye!

It sure did mine.

During a recent trip to Maine I saw that promise made in a commercial for “Bob's Discount Furniture Delivery”. Type your order number into their website and you’ll get a very specific message such as…

“Your furniture is currently scheduled to arrive at 11:34 AM”.

Wow. That got my attention, even though I wasn’t the least bit interested in the commercial and certainly not in ordering or receiving furniture.

Now who knows, it could just be a lot of hot air. Maybe they are late as often as any other company.

But if the goal of an advertisement is to snap you out of your everyday somnolence, as copywriter John Carlton has said, this one worked.

It’s a testament to the power of specificity.

General numbers and phrases imply lack of real knowledge… hedging… maybe even bluffing or lying.

“We should be there in a couple hours.”

Translation: Yeah, right.

Roy H. Williams, in "Secret Formulas of the Wizards of Ads" says, "The simple truth is that nothing sounds quite so much like the truth as the truth, and most people seem to know the truth when they hear it. The truth is never full of loopholes and generalities. The truth is made of specifics and substantiations. It's solid. That's why it's easy to spot in a world full of paper-thin lies, half-lies, and hype."

If you’re writing about a stock advisory service, don’t say “Our service produced impressive gains last year.”

Say “Between February 12 and November 23, 2007 we picked gains of 78%, 143% and 353%”.

If you’re writing about improving health, don’t say “Our program will make you feel better.”

Say “With Acme supplements, you’ll hop out of bed smiling at 5AM… you’ll be able to lose up to 15 pounds in 12 weeks or less… and you’ll love the new vitality you’ll enjoy from our 18 unique and fast-acting ingredients.”

Of course, your product or service has to deliver on those promises. If it doesn't, you might make the first sale, but you'll immediately lose credibility. And even if customers don't return it for a refund, they won't buy from you again.

And adding specific details is more work. You have to dig deeper. Spend more time. Make a bigger commitment.

But just think about what kind of payoffs it can bring you. You could double your response rates to your sales promotions. Your pay-per-click ads could attract thousands more visitors to your site. You could increase your email list size by 25%. And all that could mean hundreds of thousands - even millions - of dollars in extra income for you or your clients.

Side benefit: You'll get a kick out of seeing your writing really coming to life!

Who knew you could get all that just by adding a few specifics?

Avoiding Yet Another New Airline Fee

If you didn't like it when airlines announced $25 fees for "2nd checked bags"... here's worse news...

American Airlines will now levy a surcharge for ANY checked bags.
AP reports AA "will start charging $15 for the first checked bag, cut domestic flights and lay off possibly thousands of workers as it grapples with record-high fuel prices."

For now, competitors are saying they have no plans to match this increase.

We'll see how long that lasts!

Want to avoid these fees altogether? Here you go...

http://charliebyrne.blogspot.com/2008/04/how-to-save-50-on-your-next-airline.html

Me? Not Late... Just Running Late

"Peter's running late... but he wanted to let you know he's on his way."

Poor Peter. Something must have happened to him...

But he's doing his best... after all, he's "running". That sounds urgent.

Funny phrase, that "running late" is.

Kind of absolves you of the blame... almost makes your situation passive.

Oh no, I'm not late. I'm just "running late".

That's not so bad, is it?

Copywriting Challenge #1 - Can You Top This Copy?

Ready to go on a mission to save the world? AND get your “name in lights”? PLUS win a genuine Early to Rise hat and T-shirt?

Good, because I’m looking for some volunteers. Now mind you, I’m not talking about stopping global warming, ending the war, or turning “green”.

I just want to make the world safe for… readers. Yes, it’s time to put an end to The Plague of Bad Copy that threatens the planet.

Take a ride around your town and you’ll see it on signs everywhere you turn. Self absorbed… inner directed… and completely without benefit to the reader.

Here’s an example of one I came across just the other day outside a local strip mall.

“ALL TENANTS OPEN DURING CONSTRUCTION”

“Tenants open”? Why should I care about “tenants”?

Obviously the mall owners created this sign to appease their renters…

But what they really should be doing is appeasing their “tenant’s” customers. You and me.

Wouldn’t something like this be more likely to attract shoppers:

“All Our Friendly Shops Open While We’re Sprucing Up!”

I bet you can come up with even better suggestions.

Sure, we can’t expect every retailer and landlord to be professional copywriters - or even well-educated Early to Risers.

But why not lend them a hand - and have a little fun at the same time? So here’s what I propose…

Send me a digital photo of the worst copy you can find. I’ll post it and ask our readers in ETR to suggest better alternatives. Then we’ll take a vote, and maybe even send a copy of the winning entry to the offending “author” if we can track them down.

By the way, here’s one of my favorite examples of a GOOD store sign. I came across one outside Gray’s Papaya in New York City a few years ago:

“OUR HOT DOG – The Thunderous Pop When You Bite Into It – The Saline Tang of the Pink Flesh – Oh YES!! (Please I’m Getting Hungry Already!).

Now that’s got some appeal, don’t you think? It’s almost… erotic, dare I say.

A bit more inviting than “tenants open during construction.”

OK So here’s what to do right now.

Think about better copy for that sign outside the Mall that is open during construction.

Then, post your copy in the comments section below. Next week I’ll take a vote from our readers in ETR, and the winner gets their name in lights and a genuine Early to Rise hat and T-shirt with our compliments.

Meanwhile, when you come across a bad sign in your town, email it to me at Charlie@ETRFeedback.Com.

We might just make it the subject of our next Copywriting Challenge!

Is Your Web Developer Chasing Away Customers?

Most web developers and programmers couldn't care less about your site visitors. They're largely technical nerds more interested in bits, bytes and "cool" stuff.

So it's up to YOU to make sure what THEY produce is user-friendly.

Example: Phone number entry fields on forms. How often has this happened to you...

Enter Phone No: __________

So you enter the digits and here comes an Alert Box:

"PHONE NUMBER MUST NOT CONTAIN DASHES!"

or

"PHONE NUMBER MUST CONTAIN DASHES!"

or God only knows what else.

Doesn't this drive you crazy? It should.

It's a sure sign that a real moron programmed this application.

Why?

Because it's just as easy for an app to trim the input string into the desired storage format itself, as it is to demand the user do it.

If your site features user interaction, make sure your web developer isn't making your users jump through hoops just to provide basic information.

If he is, kick his butt or better yet, fire him.